SNOW DAZE

CURLING, YOU HAD ME AT HARDER!
By Tony Mangia

Have to admit the 2010 Winter Games ended with a bang. The men's hockey final lived up to all the hype and women's hockey became more popular due to the cigars and Molson's episode on Saturday. Is there a 'contributing to the delinquency of a minor' law in British Columbia? Who knew the Finnish men's goalie would yank himself out of the game faster than Governor Paterson would pull himself out of his reelection bid. I think the Gov got the hint when more media showed up for his quitting press conference than his running for office speech. Canada won the big one--the hockey gold. I'm sure America will recover. I had self-denying friends in Quebec who didn't answer their phones for two days after last week's preliminary round loss to the U.S.. Think Sidney Crosby will ever have to pay for a Canadian beer ever again. The United States padded it's medal totals with meaningless bronze and silvers. The Canucks total of 14 gold means they have 14 winter game champions while America has a paltry 9--even with 270 million more people. Heck, Germany had 10 golds.
Don't know who was more dejected this weekend, the cable news networks for wasting three hours of air time waiting for the tsunami to hit the coast of Hawaii or the brass at NBC for over-hyping Lindsey Vonn for the past three months. Does one gold and a bronze with 3 DNF's merit a Wheatie's box or a cover of Maxim.
A couple of suggestions to spice up the games next time--one, get rid of all the DQ's in short track skating. Put the competitors in body armor and turn it into human demolition derby--like Rollerball on ice. Second, combine luge with curling. Call it 'lurling' or 'cuge'. Human rocks slide off a track into the oval. Sweepers would have to move fast. Think of it-- the danger of luge combined with the strategy of curling--X-sports at its best.
Finally, the closing ceremonies didn't disappoint. They eventually brought out the big guns Canada is known for--comedians. I am still waiting for the McKenzie Brothers though, eh? The festivities included all our northern brothers are sadly known for--Mounties, moose and maple leaves. What, they forgot the all-nude bars in Toronto? Oh wait, they also brought out some giant beaver balloons.